Standing
on the deserted platform of the train station, she pulls her tattered and torn
coat closer around herself as the cold November wind suddenly becomes more
intense. It takes her breath. She can feel it right to her bones. She is never
warm though, even in the summer heat of August. Her body feels dead, much like
her soul. She looks over her shoulder at
the clock on the station wall. Her train
is late, but it always is. When you’re going no where, time is in no rush to
get there. As the sun sets, the lamp posts around the station come on, but they
give no comfort. It’s just another automatic thing happening in her very
predictable life. She hears the train approaching. As it pulls up slowly to the
station, it gives off one sad sounding warning. The train is old and worn out.
Like her, it is tired, tired of just existing with no purpose, but to just move
ahead. When it comes to a stop, she
looks into the cars of the train, looks at the blank faces of the people on board.
They don’t take any notice of her, just staring ahead with no emotion. They are
all heading down the same sad and endless track. The train attendant steps off the train. He
has taken her ticket many times before, but there is smile for a greeting, no warm
hello. He just looks at her and says “Boarding now for the train to nowhere.”
As she picks up her worn out suitcase, the
lights along the track flicker a couple of times then go out. She hears a train
approaching from the other side of the platform going in the opposite
direction. As it pulls up to the platform, it shines so bright, that she needs
to cover her eyes for a moment. She has never seen this train before, but it
gives her a feeling of warmth and peace. She doesn’t know why, she is just drawn
to it. So she picks up her suitcase, and heads towards the other platform. The
train attendant says. “I can’t wait for you. We have to go on.” But she doesn’t
answer him, just keeps walking, never looking back. As she gets closer to the
train, she walks a bit faster, almost running. She has a feeling of exaltation,
a feeling of hope.
Inside the cars of the train is lit up
like the fourth of July, the Christmases of her youth. When she still saw the
world as new and wonderful, and before she lost faith, faith in the people in
it, faith in herself. The people on the train conversations are animated. They
are laughing, they seem happy, they seem alive. Then suddenly they all look at
her and smile. The doors open and the
train attendant steps out. He too is smiling at her. He says “Boarding train to
somewhere Miss.” He steps aside so she can climb up the steps. She starts up
them, but suddenly, she feels hesitant, scared even. She doesn’t know where
this journey will take her, maybe the people on board means her harm. Maybe she
will get lost along the way. Maybe she will end up alone in a place she doesn’t
know. She has never taken a ride into
the unknown.
“Don’t be afraid dear” the attendant says
to her, taking her hand and leading her up the steps. His hand is firm but not
tight. It is warm and comforting. Just as her Father’s hand used to be when she
was a little girl. “Your journey is unknown but your destination is not. Your
train to a better future starts right
now, and you will find strength and confidence along the way. Just take
the first step.”
She looks into his eyes, and sees her
reflection in them, and she is smiling. She steps aboard and the door closes.
As the train pulls away, she looks out at the dark and deserted train station
for the last time, and then she turns towards the welcoming light of the train
and a sense of purpose for the first time.
